Bitterness

Today I'm thinking about something I was told in church - not by the pastor, but by others in a ministerial position. If it weren't so serious, it would be amusing.

It's not important exactly what was said. The comment made was one of unforgiveness and bitterness. It was ugly, unnecessary, and unprofessional.

No church is perfect, and I'll be the first to admit that my church has their fair share of problems (as do I myself). But when someone repents and turns around, why do we insist on keeping record of those wrongs and rubbing it in their face? Why do we whisper amongst ourselves and create factions and divisions in the body of Christ? Doesn't anybody in the body of Christ remember that THEY were saved by GRACE?

It's time to wipe the slate clean!

Bleary-eyed Madness

I slipped up yesterday and didn't have Emma take her nap when she should have. I didn't think much of it at the time, because I just figured that I would keep her up and have her go to bed an hour early. That usually fixes it.

But after I spent the afternoon cleaning out the kitchen (Billy was up and playing with the kids) I noticed that Emma had fallen asleep on the couch, and it was dinnertime. That's much too late to take a nap - but in this case, what's done is done. It's hellish to try to wake her up from a nap. I'd much rather her wake up at 10 pm (as I predicted to her father that she would) than deal with the screaming and fighting to keep her awake. It's not worth it.

On the dot at 10 pm, Emma came wandering out of her room. I thought maybe if I held her on my lap for a few moments, she would go back to sleep - but no such luck. The poor kid hadn't eaten any dinner. I got up to get her a plate, mentally calculating the minutes before I thought she might agree to go back to bed (and the more I thought about it, the more I realized that it was going to be a long night!). After she was sitting at the table eating, I optimistically got her pillow and blanket and put it on the couch. I hoped she would settle on the couch and watch a movie. She didn't want to watch a movie, though. She wanted to watch WonderPets (on Demand - we have Charter! Our tv habits are spoiled for ever) so I put that on and pulled my blanket and pillow out, thinking that I could camp on the floor and wait for Emma to fall asleep.

That situation kind of worked out for a little while: me, working the remote control to keep the little 15 minute episodes going, and Emma, delightfully contented to sit and watch television 'til Jesus comes back. I slept while the episodes played out, and she woke me up when it was over and wanted to watch a new one. I can hear what you all are thinking! This isn't the way you're supposed to handle a child who won't go to bed! May I remind you that children don't come with instruction manuals? This is survival parenting. I will figure out how I'm supposed to handle it another time.

At 2 am, I woke up, body aching from laying on the hard floor, and decided to call off the nonsense. I'd had enough. Emma was graciously instructed to go lay down on her bed (and she did, no fuss) and I went right behind her, blanket and pillow in hand to tuck her in. I hoped she would stay in bed and not play. I also hoped that because she went to bed at 2 am, she wouldn't wake up 'til at least 8 am.

She was up at 6. Let the day begin! Naptime is scheduled for 1 pm. :)

About the new template and color

Don't be alarmed, it's not going to stay this way. I was playing with it to see if I could improve it on my own.

Nope. I can't.

Pink is my favorite color, but after seeing my blog today, I've had enough pink to last me 40 years.

HELP!! I've grown frustrated with trying.

I'll just post a cute picture instead. That will make my blog better.

A Few Thoughts

I really would like to get back into blogging. I've had lots of encouragement from friends to do this - and I guess I've avoided it lately because I feel I have nothing of interest to say. Sitting here at the computer this afternoon has brought me to a general conclusion: I need to let go of the idea that I have to lead an exciting life in order to write.

What a thought!

And now I am free to blog about anything, extraordinary or mundane.

So here I am, and there's a few issues I want to address. 1. I want a prettier blog, but I don't know how to do this. 2. Emma needs to go lay down and take a nap. I'm guessing this won't happen if I continue to sit here and blog. *Sigh* The responsibilities of a parent are often inconvenient (yet I love every moment of mommyhood).

Okay, taken care of number 2 (kind of). I've set a timer for 5 minutes and I've told Emma that she's going to go to bed in that amount of time. I've learned over that last couple of months that it is a good idea to allow time for her to adjust to the idea that we are moving on to the next part of the day (clean up, naptime, bath time, bedtime and so on). So far there's been a major decrease in temper tantrums (both hers and mine). If I could just convince her Sunday School teacher of the same method, I think we would clear up most of Emma's behavior problems.

Speaking of behaviors, I'd like to announce that Emma is now using the potty on a regular basis. We are not yet accident free, and she wears a pull up to bed at night, but folks, this is the real deal. I'm beginning to see the light at the end of the diaper tunnel.

Back to number one . . . if anyone knows how to set my own backgrounds on this blog, could you leave me a note? It's much appreciated.

Feeling the Urge to Blog Once More . . .

It's been so long since my last post. All my interest in writing seemed to trickle away from me not too long after I had my second baby, Liam.

But now, here I am - with a renewed interest in writing something down. Yesterday my interest in writing manifested itself in updating the baby books for my young'uns. Like most moms, I feel dreadfully behind. It was fun though, to walk down memory lane and try to remember when it was that Emma sprouted her third tooth (okay, so I don't have EXACT dates, but I do have a knack for remembering the darndest things).

I think my renewed interest is due in part to my friend Debbie who just had her baby boy a little more than a week ago. He was born prematurely, and I've been faithfully following her daily blogs about him. I've enjoyed knowing how things were going at the click of a mouse. Reading her stories has made me want to go back to telling my own, so here I am to talk about myself (and the kids, of course) again.

For anyone who was following before, you should know that my family has moved out of Aunt Dot's house and we are all recovering nicely from that experience. If you missed it, feel free to go back and read a few stories; it makes that movie "Monster-In-Law" look like a sweet children's film.

I'm looking forward to my parents coming up for a visit this weekend! I told Emma they were coming and now she won't stop talking about Nana, Papa and Sadie Rose (their pug). I think she can't wait to see them either. It's been too long.

Someone Help Me Fix This

It's been a tough day today.

Billy and I have been having issues with Emma for a while now - so some of it could be because of the baby, but truly, this started before we ever left California. She's such a sweet, loving girl.

But she just about always refuses to obey.

And now, she's taking off her own diaper and pooping in her bedroom closet.

Yes, we know that's a sure sign of her being ready to toilet train! Thing is, she refuses to sit on the potty. And on the rare occasion that we DO get her to sit on it, nothing happens. It doesn't matter how long we have her sit there. It's as if she has no clue what she's supposed to be doing.

I've tried keeping clothes on her. Clothes that I didn't think she could take off. I've dressed her in those warm footie pajamas that zip up the front. Guess what? She knows how to take them off.

I've told her (in a very calm voice) not to do that. I've told her very firmly that we go to the bathroom in the potty chair. I've demonstrated it for her. I've made it into a fun game. She LOVES following me into the bathroom and sitting on her potty chair while I take care of my business.

But the bad behavior is a recurring one.

I've told her in an angry voice not to poop in the closet. Billy's hollered at her too. I've made her sit in "time out" on her bed while I've cleaned it up.

I've begged. I've pleaded. I've even bribed her with candy.

She's CONSTANTLY whining and crying. My nerves are shot. Sometimes, I don't even understand what she wants. I tell her that I'm trying to understand. The problem is, I don't think SHE understands. So how come I figure that I can reason with the two year old?

Maybe it's kind of early in the game to say this, but I think I'm failing as a parent. No joke. It feels like everything is falling apart. What happened to all the ideals that I had when she was first born? I wasn't going to be one of those parents that put her in front of the tv or gave her french fries from McDonalds.

I called a friend to say hello earlier today, and ended up sharing some of my woes with her. She doesn't have any children (yet) but she advised me to call Dr. Laura. So I looked this person up online to see how I could go about doing that. She has a very informative website . . . even has a list of books she recommends. And then, I saw it . . .

The book was titled, "It Gets Easier (and other lies we tell new mothers)."

Well, that shattered what was left of my hope. All I've heard since Emma was born was that this too shall pass, that it will get easier. And now I find out it's all a LIE. Look, that's all I had to hang onto, this idea that it would be getting easier soon.

Is there a super-nanny out there, who would come in and help me fix all the things I've done wrong without putting me on national television? Can I have a personal, one-on-one meeting with James Dobson, so he can tell me what to do? 'Cause I'm lost. And something's gotta happen soon, because I'm only 7 hours away from trying to make it through another day with Emma, and that's not long enough for my nerves to regenerate.

Milestones

Yay! Baby Liam's umbilical cord stump fell off today and now I can give him regular baths in the baby tub! This is a moment that I have impatiently awaited - I love freshly bathed babies. It's a long wait, waiting for that nasty thing to come off, and sponge baths just don't seem to get the baby clean enough for me.

But, yay! The moment has happened and I gave him his first home bath this afternoon. He didn't think much of it. I'm guessing he doesn't like to be cold. He doesn't like it when I change his diaper, either.

He is a wonderful baby. So sweet and quiet (when he's not getting changed or bathed). I'm in love.